Grill vs. Grillz vs. Grille

Now that you are thoroughly schooled in the art of grilling, where grilling refers to cooking, we thought we should take a look at some of the other grills out there. It's interesting, but it seems that most things containing the name "grill" are loved by mostly men.

Men hate to cook but love to grill. Let's look at our next "grill".

This type of Grille we're talking about appears on your car and we all know how men feel about cars. Look no further than Ludacris and his song "Southern Hospitality"

Ah
Cadillac grilles
Cadillac bills
Check out the oil
My Cadillac spills

Need I say more? The grille on the car has always been a big deal, even back in the muscle car days. Observe:



Next, of course, are grillz. Now, granted, girls get grillz, however, it's mostly men who choose to dress up their teeth with bling.


Sexy I'll take item No. FKG-S106

Finally, we look at the verb form of being "grilled". Again, usually it's a male police officer, except on Law and Order, doing the "grilling" of a certain suspect.



So, you tell us, what is it about the word "grill"?! Do men have some sort of monopoly on the word? I mean, seriously? Seriously. We need to do something about this ladies. We need to give the word "grill" new meaning. Do whatever you have to do.

Decorate your teeth.



Pose in front of your car grille. Um, you don't have to do it like this but, you know.



Go out and "grill" a guy.



Oh yeah, the new Grills will be all about Girrrrllllzzzzz!

Man Meat

Who needs the fancy fru-fru stuff like grilled pineapple? We're talking meat! (okay, in case you really were jonesing for that pineapple...look here.)

Your bbq staples are obviously hot dogs, brats, burgers, ribs (if you're an overachiever-- and if you're REALLY an overachiever, you might want to look here.) and steaks. As All-American as Budweiser. Oh, wait....

But what if you're looking to wow (or at least make an impression) your guy with some new meat? Here are our suggestions:

Ostrich burgers. They're super lean yet still "red" meat. Also available cooked at your local Fuddruckers, but what fun is that?

Bison steaks and burgers- Throw an Oregon Trail themed bbq with bison steaks and burgers as the main feature. Just remember, always accept help from the Indians as guides.

Do like the Hawaiians do and get your SPAM on.

Spam is everywhere in Hawaii. They grill it, eat spam and eggs, put it in sushi, on top of pizza... Not convinced it's for you? Maybe a trip to the Spam museum in Austin, Minnesota will help ease your uncertainty. Or you could just visit the Spam cyberworld.

That's all for today! Check back tomorrow for our look at grills....and grillz.

Fake it till you make it

Okay, so maybe you live in an apartment complex that's not so grill friendly, and grilling on your balcony is frowned upon. Or illegal. Maybe the thought of having to get a grill, lug back a dusty bag of charcoal (black marks are NOT attractive on your clothes, ew) , lighter fluid and hope your limited boy scouting skills will actually get a fire going is just too much hassle. What's a girl to do? Never fear, we have a solution for you...get a Foreman!

Seriously, the staple college cooking appliance has come along way since the days of manual-labor intensive cleaning and scrubbing of the machine. The grill trays are now removable and dishwasherable. You can throw frozen foods on there and they turn out great. And that crazy George and his crew are getting even wackier by making interchangable trays so you can not only grill, but also make pancakes and bake pizzas.

We swear we don't own stock in foreman grills. But if you're intimidated or limited by grilling equipment, we say that the foreman is a good compromise. But beware- the foreman grills are not completely innocuous. Remember when Michael Scott accidentally grilled his foot because he keeps it at the foot of his bed in order to wake up to the smell of sizzling bacon?

A good way to prevent this is to get a foreman that's too big for the foot of your bed. In fact, there are foremans out there that look like REAL grills. And for you ballers out there, here's one that you can even plug your ipod into, so you can get your jam on while you grill.

It probably looks bigger in real life.

Tomorrow, we explore fun things to grill. Hint: It's not your foot. Sorry, Michael!

We didn't start the fire...

But after this post you will definitely have started a fire. So, let your inner pyro out and let's get started:

Pyro from X-Men

Lighting charcoal grills
These are more time intensive when starting them.

1.) Go shopping. You'll need charcoal, lighter fluid and if you don't have any already, long handled tongs, spatulas, etc.

When choosing charcoal, there are many different types in terms of flavor. Some have mesquite flavored coals, etc. and these just add flavor to whatever you're grilling. There are also self-igniting brands of charcoal, in which case you don't need lighter fluid, you can also use a charcoal chimney to avoid using lighter fluid, but we won't be covering the charcoal chimney here.



2.) Remove the top "grilling" rack, where you'll actually cook the meat. There may be a bottom rack, in this case the charcoal can go on top of it. Otherwise determine how much charcoal you'll need and make a single layer. Usually, they say a single layer for things like burgers or steaks, and a double for roasts like whole chickens, etc. Pour the amount you need in, then form it into a pyramid with the charcoal.



3.) Some people like to pour the lighter fluid on the liquid before they arrange in a pyramid, this is up to you. We like to stack it in a pyramid first, then douse it. When you pour your lighter fluid you want to make sure you're getting more in the center than on the edges. It's about 2oz of fluid per pound of charcoal. Once you've doused the coals in fluid, place the container as far away from the grill as possible.

SAFETY NOTE: It is a very BAD idea to add lighter fluid after you've lit the grill. Do Not Do This. It can cause flame ups, which means you could definitely lose our eyebrows.

4.) Once your lighter fluid is safely put away, use a long match or bbq lighter and light the bottom of the coals. You may need to do this in a few places to get the coals lit, depending on how much charcoal you're using.

If you're using self-igniting briquettes, skip dousing in lighter fluid to this step. Just stack the pyramid and light from the bottom.

5.) Now you wait. You want to let the coals burn until they are all white on the surface. Keep the cover off and stay near so you can keep an eye on it because, depending on how much coal you have, this could take anywhere from 10 mins to 45 mins. Just don't be tempted to add more lighter fluid in order to speed up the process. Once they all have the white coating of grey ash, that means they're burning evenly and it's almost time to start grilling.

6.) Grab your long grilling utensil and rearrange the coals to form your single layer (we're assuming you're doing direct grilling, like chicken breasts, steaks, burger, etc.). Once you've spread the coals into a single layer you can put the top rack back on. (You'll want to coat it with oil to keep meats from sticking).

7.) The placement of the rack depends on the temperature with which you want to cook. For higher temperatures and faster cooking, place rack closer to the coals, for longer or lesser temps, place rack higher and further away from the coals. Once the rack is placed, close the lid and wait 5 minutes to allow the rack to heat up, then place your meats and, voila, you're grilling!

Now that you can start a charcoal grill, starting a gas grill is a piece of cake and we're not really going to go into it that much because you just have to follow the instructions that came with the grill which are pretty easy. However, the gas grill has the added step of the gas tank. What do you do when it's empty?



The easiest thing you can do is take the empty tank to a place like Home Depot or Lowes. Many of them have programs where you bring in the empty one and they either fill it or give you a new one while taking the old take for a nominal fee. Totally easy.

Are you Gassy?

No, I don't mean are you flatulent. I'm talking about grills. Are the gas grilling type or the charcoal grilling type because it's that time again. Grillin' time and we're here to help you figure out how to do the grilln' yourself this time instead of handing it over to the men in your life.

The first thing you need to do? Pick out a grill. They come in many shapes and sizes, and the main rule of thumb is, the easier it is to use, the less flavor you'll get out of it, which can be bad and good. The two main types of grills for spring are Gas and Charcoal. So, which one do you choose? We're gonna help you figure that out.

Gass grill

Charcoal grill

First things first, do you have any safety rules in your area about grill on decks in apartments, condos, etc. counties, cities, states have laws about grills in these areas, so check that out first.

Now that you've done that, let's get down to business. The first thing to consider is - Cost. What can you afford?

Charcoal grills are generally cheaper than gas grills. They can often be found secondhand at garage sales and such and there's really not much to them. However, that's just the cost of the grill, what about fuel? Well, for every use, charcoal can cost you up to $5 or more whereas gas grills will only cost you about $.20/use and a tank of gas can last a long time. With charcoal, you'll have to schlep to the store to pick up more every time you want to grill. So, in the long run a charcoal grill can cost you more depending on how much you use it.

Next up, Space. What type of area is this grill going in? If it's small and enclosed a gas grill may not be feasible because of it's shear size and because they are prone to flare ups. So, to avoid burning down your house, you may want to avoid those. Charcoal grills can run smaller and more portable (although they do have small, portable gas grills for camping) and are not prone to flare ups unless you go crazy with lighter fluid, which we do not suggest you do, but that's for tomorrow. So, you may very well be constricted by the amount of space you have.

Gass grill flare up. But don't be scared :) We'll go over how to avoid such things.

Taste. If that smokey flavor of traditional bbq is important to you, charcoal grills will give that to you more so than a gas grill, however, this leads to our next thing to consider...

Example of traditional Texas bbq over wood chips (a whole nother grillin story, wood chips)

Convenience. If you want to be able to come home and slap some meat on the grill after a long day of work, a charcoal grill is not very conducive to this because of the amount of work that goes into lighting it. If you just want something for parties or get together's every once in awhile on the weekends, than charcoal won't be so bad.

And there you have it. Your guide to choosing a grill that fits your needs. Tomorrow, we'll go over lighting them!

Playing Defense

No, not sports defense, defense in the club against sleazy sexual predators.

Let's face it, when you go out, some guy will try and hit on you (because we know all of our blog readers are hot gorgeous babes). Now, sometimes, if they're cute, this is welcome. Other times, not so much.

So, here is our top 5 defensive moves against the sleeze:

5.) If you are thrown a really cheesy pick up line, like, "Are you tired? Cuz you've been running through my mind all day!" Give him cheese back and say, "Thanks, my night wouldn't have been complete without a little cheeeese." See, meet cheesy with cheesy, corny with corny.



4.) If a guy is a hoverer. You know, the ones that come around you but don't actually dance with you or say anything or do anything, they just...hover. And stare. They also like to stare. If you have one of these and he's cute, obviously dance with him and put him out of his misery. If not, then when they get closer you need to do this:



Break into your best Saturday Night Fever imitation so if he gets anywhere near you he'll get his eyes poked out by your pointy disco fingers.

3.) If you're at the bar and a guy buys you a drink and then, because he's bought you said drink, decides that entitles him to say something really stupid or derogatory, feel free to tell him he can have his drink back and then proceed to dump it on him.

Aiming low is good

4.) If a guy comes up behind you and starts freaking you, move close to a random guy that looks bigger than the one behind you, then slip out of the way so creepy guy is now freaking big random guy and hope big random guy punches him.

5.) If he's really sleazy and really gross, as in, greasy hair, half unbuttoned shirt with hairy chest and a lot of gold chains, then your #1 line of defense is to scream and run away. The screaming alerts other innocent girls to the creepy threat approaching, so please, if you encounter such creepiness, please do your fellow sister a favor and sound the alarm.


And with that scary image, that we hope ingrains in you the importance of learning to play defense, have a safe and sleeze free weekend!

What Your Drink Says About You

Your drink can say a lot about you. Especially if you're out on a first date (um, because you TOTALLY nabbed that hottie at happy hour!), so if you're trying to make an impression-good, bad, outrageous- (whatever, we don't judge) , be conscious of your beverage selection. Here's what we think the following drinks say on a first date:

Beer- Either, "I'm low maintenance and can kick back like one of the boys", or "I'm at a brewery". However, if you're drinking Natty Light (aka "Natural Light") it says "I like water" and if it's Miller High Life it says "I'm a little trailer trashy". There's really no good reason you should be drinking a 40 on a first date.

Cosmos- "I heart Sex and the City and the color pink". Seriously, that show put cosmos and Manolos on the map. Not that that's a bad thing.

Rum and coke, cranberry vodkas- "I'm unoriginal and sheep-like. Baaa. Isn't that what everyone else is drinking?"

Apple or Chocolate Martini- "I like the look of drinking but hate the taste of alcohol. I'm girly".

Sloe Screw Against the Wall, Harvey Wallbanger- "Why are we not back at your place yet?"

The Skinny Girl Margarita, by Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson- "Does this glass make me look fat?"

One final note. There are A LOT of drinks out there and bartenders, no matter how good they are, won't know them all. Especially for the way out there drinks (usually shooters, but not always) know what's in a zombie (light and dark rum, grenadine, oj, triple sec, sour mix) or sand in your butt (pineapple juice, midori, soco) so you can tell the bartender if necessary. Don't get caught having to do the awkward shrug when the bartender asks you what's in it. Happy beveraging!