Playing Defense

No, not sports defense, defense in the club against sleazy sexual predators.

Let's face it, when you go out, some guy will try and hit on you (because we know all of our blog readers are hot gorgeous babes). Now, sometimes, if they're cute, this is welcome. Other times, not so much.

So, here is our top 5 defensive moves against the sleeze:

5.) If you are thrown a really cheesy pick up line, like, "Are you tired? Cuz you've been running through my mind all day!" Give him cheese back and say, "Thanks, my night wouldn't have been complete without a little cheeeese." See, meet cheesy with cheesy, corny with corny.



4.) If a guy is a hoverer. You know, the ones that come around you but don't actually dance with you or say anything or do anything, they just...hover. And stare. They also like to stare. If you have one of these and he's cute, obviously dance with him and put him out of his misery. If not, then when they get closer you need to do this:



Break into your best Saturday Night Fever imitation so if he gets anywhere near you he'll get his eyes poked out by your pointy disco fingers.

3.) If you're at the bar and a guy buys you a drink and then, because he's bought you said drink, decides that entitles him to say something really stupid or derogatory, feel free to tell him he can have his drink back and then proceed to dump it on him.

Aiming low is good

4.) If a guy comes up behind you and starts freaking you, move close to a random guy that looks bigger than the one behind you, then slip out of the way so creepy guy is now freaking big random guy and hope big random guy punches him.

5.) If he's really sleazy and really gross, as in, greasy hair, half unbuttoned shirt with hairy chest and a lot of gold chains, then your #1 line of defense is to scream and run away. The screaming alerts other innocent girls to the creepy threat approaching, so please, if you encounter such creepiness, please do your fellow sister a favor and sound the alarm.


And with that scary image, that we hope ingrains in you the importance of learning to play defense, have a safe and sleeze free weekend!

What Your Drink Says About You

Your drink can say a lot about you. Especially if you're out on a first date (um, because you TOTALLY nabbed that hottie at happy hour!), so if you're trying to make an impression-good, bad, outrageous- (whatever, we don't judge) , be conscious of your beverage selection. Here's what we think the following drinks say on a first date:

Beer- Either, "I'm low maintenance and can kick back like one of the boys", or "I'm at a brewery". However, if you're drinking Natty Light (aka "Natural Light") it says "I like water" and if it's Miller High Life it says "I'm a little trailer trashy". There's really no good reason you should be drinking a 40 on a first date.

Cosmos- "I heart Sex and the City and the color pink". Seriously, that show put cosmos and Manolos on the map. Not that that's a bad thing.

Rum and coke, cranberry vodkas- "I'm unoriginal and sheep-like. Baaa. Isn't that what everyone else is drinking?"

Apple or Chocolate Martini- "I like the look of drinking but hate the taste of alcohol. I'm girly".

Sloe Screw Against the Wall, Harvey Wallbanger- "Why are we not back at your place yet?"

The Skinny Girl Margarita, by Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson- "Does this glass make me look fat?"

One final note. There are A LOT of drinks out there and bartenders, no matter how good they are, won't know them all. Especially for the way out there drinks (usually shooters, but not always) know what's in a zombie (light and dark rum, grenadine, oj, triple sec, sour mix) or sand in your butt (pineapple juice, midori, soco) so you can tell the bartender if necessary. Don't get caught having to do the awkward shrug when the bartender asks you what's in it. Happy beveraging!

Navigating foreign territory...the Sports Bar

If the glasses post was too confusing for you, we have the perfect alternative, where a knowledge of proper glassware is shunned, but alcohol is still consumed in large quantities...the Sports Bar.

Why do I need to know anything about Sports Bar you ask? Simple:

1.) Let's say a guy you're interested in finally asks you to meet up with him and some of his friends...at a sports bar. What do you do?

2.) Your man is always at the Sports Bar with his buddies and you'd like to see more of him, so you finally accept one of his invitations. How do you keep yourself from being bored out of your mind?

3.) You are single and ready to mingle and are looking for some good hunting grounds. One of your guy friends suggests going with him to a sports bar and you gladly accept. How do you start the hunt if the guys are there to watch sports?

All viable reasons you need to know your way around a sports bar. Now, sports bars come in a variety of flavors. Some, like ESPN Zone, have a Dave and Busters, arcade-ish set up along with the large screen tv's. If this is the case, be sure to wear a sports bra, don't bring a large purse and wear comfortable shoes, because you're going to be playing ski ball and throwing basketballs and if you're not, then you'll be holding jackets and drinks while everyone else is having fun.

If it's a restaurant/sports bar, like Champps, you can afford to be a little more dressed up. After all, it is a restaurant.

If it's a straight up sports bar, don't wear anything you don't want to get dirty.

One thing all three types of sports bars have in common? A gazillion tv's. Usually at least one large screen and then plenty of small ones. Usually they'll all be playing different things because during spring and summer, there's multiple games from multiple sports going on.

Now, there are two basic scenarios that occur when going to a sports bar. Either there's a really big game on, like Red Sox vs. Yankees or some other huge rivalry or playoff game, or it's just regular season play and it's more of a social thing, where no one has a good enough tv to watch sports on, so they go to the bar.

This is equivalent to the Nordstrom semi-annual sale vs. just a normal sale. With semi-annual sales, you make plans ahead of time to hit them and prepare, this is a serious shopping trip. Whereas, if it's just a plain old sale, it's more of a spur of the moment thing, oh there's sale, wanna go look? You may or may not buy something.

Keeping this in mind should give you an idea of what's going through guys' minds when they're at the sports bar. During the semi-annual sale you don't want any distractions, you dont' take your friend with you who needs constant supervision when shopping, you take the friend who can fend for herself. The same goes for the big game.

If you find yourself in this situation you have 1 of 2 options. Either bring something to do, a magazine, a book or a girlfriend. Or, learn a little bit about the game and try to pay attention, but, this is not one of those times where you should be asking a lot of questions and trying to strike up random conversation. Drink your beer, eat your wings and cheer when everyone else does.

If it's a regular game, feel free to socialize. This is the perfect time and place to ask anyone around you to explain anything going on and to be on the hunt for that new guy.

Just remember, those sitting closest to the tv's are going to be pretty serious and really want to watch the games, similar to the ladies who wait outside the doors of a store before a big sale. These people are vulchers, try and stay away from them.

Otherwise, drink beer, eat a burger (because you just can't eat salads at sports bars) and have fun!

Know Your Cups

Don't ever try drinking whiskey out of a martini glass. And if you get a bartender who tries to pull such tom foolery on you, you have our permission to splash the drink back in his face. But don't get caught not knowing what kind of glass you should drink your pink cadillac out of (ahem, that would be a martini glass). For instance, say you order a martini, and the bartender asks you if you want that "up". You're not sure what that means, so you just shake your head. Then you get served a martini with ice in a rocks glass. Hey, you asked for it and didn't even know it. To help you prevent such situations, we've provided a brief overview on bar glassware.

The rocks glass. Not just for drinks served on the rocks. Okay, yes, the glass is made for your drinks with ice. Your gin and tonics, gimlets, rusty nails (scotch and drambuie. Drambuie is a licorice flavored liqueur). Also, if you wanted your martini on the rocks, this is how it would be served. A lot of guys who don't want to drink out of the martini glass will ask for it on the rocks instead. In case you've ever wondered, "dirty" martinis are made that way with olive juice so you get kind of a briny taste. Yum.

The highball glass is usually for drinks that involve a liquor and a mixer. So your rum and cokes, vodka cranberry (aka the cape cod). There actually is a "highball" drink which is a mix of whiskey and soda. For these drinks, your bartender should always be pouring the liquor in first. Why? Alcohol is lighter than water, or juice or soda. So when you put it in first, it naturally wants to rise to the top. Density issues. Okay, we won't bore you with details.

The collins glass. Yes, it looks like the highball glass but a bit taller. That's because this baby holds a mixture of liquor, sour mix and soda- layered in the glass in that order. They're generally know as Tom Collins, Jim Collins, Name-a-dude Collins. Slight changes in the beverages, but that's the idea.

The martini/cocktail glass. Now we're getting into familiar territory. There is never to be any ice in these glasses, though if you have a good bartender he/she will fill them with ice and water to chill them in front of you. This glass is home to the beloved cosmo, grasshopper, pink cadillacs...usually anything that's shaken/stirred in mixing cups that you're not downing in one shot.

We're skipping shot glasses because c'mon. We've all been there. Also a note of caution. Say you order a vodka soda and it comes in a big glass that restaurants typically serve water in. You might be getting a LOT more vodka than in your standard drink. We learned that the hard way in a VERY expensive cab ride.

Liquor? I barely know her!

So now that the weather is getting warmer and sunnier, it can only mean one thing: outdoor happy hour. Happy hours are great- they provide you the opportunity to try new places, build office camaraderie and well let's face it...talk to the newbie you've been eyeing. But before you start a tab at the bar, here are a few basics of the hard stuff. After all, it's embarrassing to admit you don't know what you're drinking.

Vodka- Women drink vodka. Why? Because it has no smell, and women in the olden days could get away with drinking it undetected (I guess until they stumbled off of their horse or something). Also, it's not lady-like to reek of booze. So we've been told. Good vodka shouldn't have any taste to it, just some bite. This stuff used to be made out of potatoes, but now it's usually made out of grains. Commonly used in martinis, "girly" drinks (cosmos, with juices like cranberry, oj, grapefruit) and shooters (lemon drops, kamikazes).

Whiskey- Men drink whiskey. Why? Because unlike vodka, it has taste. Tastes like fire. That doesn't mean that as a woman, you shouldn't drink it. Whiskey is made from grains (malt grains, rye or corn) and is aged in a cask, which gives it the golden color. Common mixers are sour mix, Coke, ginger ale, water or "neat" which means by itself.

Scotch- Gentlemen drink scotch. This is just whiskey that follows some rules. It actually has to come from Scotland and be aged for over 3 years in the oak cask. Sometimes you'll see "single malt scotch" which means it only uses one type of barley and comes from one distillery. "Blended" means multiple grains and the liquid is made from different scotches from different distilleries. Sort of like a "whiskey jungle juice". There's not much you mix in with scotch- maybe water or soda, but that's about it. Otherwise you drink it neat.

Gin- There are no guidelines on who's suppossed to drink gin. Gin is made from the juniper berry which is why it smells kind of flowery. Gin is usually the basis of a martini (but vodka has surpassed it in popularity). Common drinks with gin are gin and tonics, a gimlet (gin and lime juice/syrup) and a Tom Collins (gin, sour mix and soda). Personally, we hate gin. Blech.

Rum- One of the most popular liquors. Rum is made from sugar cane or molasses. Accordingly, it's used in a lot of tropical cocktails. You'll find it in mojitos, rum runners and mai tais. Mix it with Coke, and if you add a lime wedge, it becomes a Cuba libre.

So now that you've got the basics, tomorrow we explore the different glassware that go with different beverages. After all, you don't want to look silly drinking whiskey out of a martini glass...